Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian | Must do better. Probably won’t

New Year’s Resolution advice from Lucy Mangan at The Guardian:

“I would love to be able to tell you that the way to improve your life is to ignore society’s narrow vision of the beauty ideal, to treat such a superficial approach to life with the contempt it deserves, and to throw yourself into voluntary work with the poor and needy instead and get some vital perspective on the narcissistic concerns that poison our age. Unfortunately, the facts, as I see them are these:

You are but one woman. Filling your face with pies and flinging your Gillette Sensor to the wind will result only in you quickly taking on the appearance of a large ball of Spam that has been rolled along a busy barbershop’s floor. You won’t strike a blow for personal freedom, you will be the basis for a new documentary in Channel 5’s Point and Laugh season. In short, you cannot beat them, you can only join them.”