Eight weeks to go! w00t! Now’s the time to get that bridal beauty regime underway (it says here). Those lovely people at Cosmo Bride have thought of everything, so we don’t have to, with a nifty 6-month “countdown to radiance”. Let’s see what needs to be done for this most special of all the special days.
Get your fix of superfoods
Oh, I am doing. Pie. It’s super.
Stop Smoking!
Check. Did it 8 years ago. How’s that for planning ahead?
Drink Water
I drink my fair share. Admittedly most of it has had teabags, milk and a sweetener. And some of my quota is brown and fizzy and does an excellent job of cleaning coins.
Have regular facials
For some reason Michael’s chuckling like Beavis and/or Butthead right now. No idea why.
Take care of your skin
What they mean by this, but they daren’t say it because in the Crazy World of Cosmo Bride it isn’t even an issue, is “Girl, do something about the beard”. Unfortunately it’s something that many of us have to deal with, and, unfortunately, it’s in my genes. So I’ve tried plucking, creams, sanding, but the only thing that works is waxing. But, of course, the Cosmo Bride has not one imperfection nor beardy growth, so she’s just told to exfoliate regularly and slap on the sunscreen.
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Hairyness is in my DNA – as demonstrated here by my Aunty Doris
Get Some Fresh Air
Knickers to that, it’s freezing out.
Focus on You
See that, Randall? Me, me, me, me, me, me, ME!
I’ll have a cup of tea, followed by a foot massage, and have you learned that November Rain solo yet? “Spend time doing things that make you laugh”, it says. I guess I’ll be buying next month’s Cosmo Bride then, ’cause it’s a hoot.
On the day, fake it
One thing’s for sure – on the day, the night, the honeymoon and for the whole of our married life – I will never, ever, ever have to fake being happy and delighted to be married to the man I’m marrying. And if my make-up’s not perfect, I won’t give a monkeys as long as the groom doesn’t.
Till next week, then – where wedding guest Darren Beniston is practicing his Peter Kay impression in preparation for the unveiling of the wedding cake.
Signing off for another week,
Bride to Be
Sam “Huhurrhurrhuhhurr. Facials” Harris