I had to post this early because I will be in the UK travelling tomorrow, but you KNOW I’m not letting this date pass without a huge gushing squee of adoration for my main guitar squeeze!!! So, hang on now….here we go!

Another birthday has arrived for that supreme musical genius and hottest man ever to walk the planet, yes, lovely Mr Page is 63 today. It’s hard to believe. It only seems a minute ago that I first discovered his music even though it’s been over 30 years! Because everything he touches musically is heaven for me, the time has flown past! That happens when you are an insanely happy fan. And you aren’t going to be anything other than that being a fan of Jimmy’s. He’s awesome. Milestones like birthdays remind me how long it has actually been, and it always takes me by surprise.

Then of course, he doesn’t look 63. Have a look at that gorgeous gorgeous man! Woo hoo!! He’ll never look any thing other than totally hot – 23, 63, what does it matter? JIMMY PAGE = FOREVER HOT!! I can’t even begin to tell you how yummy I think he is. I give it a fair old attempt around here, but it only scratches the surface of my phenomenal reservoir of Jimmy squee.

So, happy birthday Jimmy Jimmy!!! Even though another year is gone, you are never really going to age. You are one of those timeless people whose presence and music will always be felt, and will always be there for someone to discover anew, sounding just as fresh and inspiring as the day you played it, even when all of us are distant memories. You rock in every way imaginable. Today especially I hope you feel a little bit of the big huge appreciation fans like me have for you. If I could I’d give you any birthday present you wanted! But actually, I can’t give you anything much except this little post floating out in cyberspace that wishes you a happy birthday. You’re the best Jimmy, the absolute best.

Latest Update: added a link to a selection of templates for cards, envelopes and boxes.

When you want to make a quick calendar or list of some sort, you can save a bit of time by starting with a template – like a pre-designed calendar for you to insert your own pictures. Here’s some of the best templates we’ve found…

Pre-made Templates

• Custom Cards, Envelopes and Boxes – a variety of templates for cards, gift boxes and envelopes. Via Kitschy-Koo.
• Envelope-style Hipster Cases – a quick and easy fold-your-own case for a HipsterPDA, from shris at D*I*Y Planner. Just print, cut and fold for a carrying case for 3×5 index cards. If you prefer the MicroHipsterPDA (business cards instead of index cards), D*I*Y Planner can help there too.
• Calligraphy Guides – fully customisable for line widths, nib widths, angles, and colours, and will generate PDFs in US Letter and A4 sizes. Fantastic work from Pelipen at The Fountain Pen Network.
• PDF Pad – a site with lots of different templates, including some quite unusual stuff. They have calendars, flags, music stuff, graph paper and sudoku. If you’re looking for something fairly specialist, there’s a decent chance of finding it here.
• Class Planner – a nice simple little weekly planner, with spaces for daily planning and tasks for the week. Intended for students, but could probably be used by lots of people.
• Paper CD Case – you can enter artist, album, and tracks, tell it if you want A4 or Letter paper, and if you want a paper CD case or a sheet to fit inside a jewel case, and it generates a PDF file for you to print and fold. Nice. (Thanks to Gary at Thumbrella.)
• Doane Paper – it’s a cross between a legal pad and graph paper. Squared paper, but every third horizontal is thicker, and it has a red margin. I can see a lot of people liking this. Looks like he’s planning to get it made as real pads, too.
• Letterfu – really cool little single-sheet letter-and-envelope-in-one thingies. Oh, it’s difficult to explain, but you print one out, write your letter (or print it) on the back, then fold as indicated. Tuck in the last flappy bit, and the stamp seals it safely for posting. Only problem is that I never post anything any more.
• nowMap – PigPog’s own quick organiser template – just a single sheet and a way of using it to map out what you’re up to at the moment.
• FreePrintable.Net – assorted business cards, stationery, certificates, gift tags and fax cover sheets to download and use. There’s some designs where you have to pay to get an editable version, but there’s plenty of free stuff, and even the non-free ones are cheap enough.
• Ricky Spears’ Microsoft Word Booklet Template – lets you print booklets of up to 32 pages onto double-sided sheets of US Letter paper.
• Microsoft’s Office Templates – Microsoft have their own collection of templates online for Office, and there’s a lot there. If you don’t have Microsoft Office, most of them should open ok with OpenOffice too. They cover all sorts of things – calendars, greetings cards, diet and exercise, job hunting, legal.
• DIY Planner – don’t forget DIY Planner for any organiser-type stuff you need. They have calendar, to-do list, contacts, and various different types of list and matrix templates available in a range of sizes.
• Incompetech’s Free Online Graph Paper – a fantastic site – not just a variety of graph paper and lined paper PDFs, but a whole range of generators to design your own. Need guitar tab paper for a seven-string? You can make it here.

Work

• Office Depot have an impressive range of forms online for free, for small businesses. There’s employment forms, customer surveys, tax forms, marketing forms, safety forms – lots of forms. Mostly US-specific. (Thanks to Lifehacker for the link.)
• Status Reports – from Chris Brogan, along with notes on the best way of preparing and presenting your status reports.

Making Your Own

• Template Design 101 from Doug at DIY Planner – the master of tempate design shares his tricks and methods.

Related

• PDF Writers and File Sizes – if you need to generate PDF files, here are a few ways of doing it – with very varying results.

Presenting…

The Aristocrats – in Spam!

The filthiest joke in comedy history featuring a mere handful of subject lines from my “junk” box. Altogether now – NSFW!

Stop me if you’ve heard this…

A man, his wife, his two daughters, his son, a couple of his son’s friends, and his daughter’s algebra teacher go to see a talent agent. “Got a great act for you”, says the man. “We’ve gone down a storm on YouTube, and our myspace page has over 5,000 friends.” The talent agent is not impressed “A family act? A family act with an internet following? Give me a break. I don’t do that sort of act. Unless any of you have been on a reality TV show. Have you? Big Brother? Survivor? Unanimous?”. The man shakes his head. “But what we have is special! Please, let me explain.”. The talent agent grudgingly agrees..

“OK, so Sexy hottie katrina strips down, and screams “Urgent from Mr HANAM AL MAZEM”. Exploring anal sex passions, the son answers a Question from eBay Member regarding Item #150057720098 while mom the mature bl0nde str1ps her pant1es and p0ses 1n st0ck1ngs. Then, the dog and Two; teens gets =) fcked by a hockey team and the son’s friend older lady with alien tits sucks. After that, the algebra teacher ju1cy redhead as1an beaut1e sh0w1ng h0les 0n fl00r along with mature mom and sweet boy in kitchen all have a Pregnant interracial orgy and, then it’s the big song and dance number – =?ISO-2022-JP?B?jUSC3YLMicaQrZV3gvCWs5e/gsmCxIKyj9CJ7pJ2grWC3IK3gUI==?=, or we might do RE[3]: Hey gurl, 05.01.2007 04:35:42. then to finish off, bl0nde gush1ng a h0t p1ss 1n park.”

“That’s quite an act. What do you call yourselves?”

“The Aristocrats!”

“O RLY? Well, Thunderbird thinks it might be junk! Get out of my office you spamming twunt!”

A cute little video of ‘TheCanCollecter123′ playing various Windows XP notification sounds on his keyboard (musical keyboard, that is, not computer keyboard). I’m sure someone can port it to Mac and Linux, and update it for Windows Vista.

It’s always nice to add some new feeds to my Bloglines reading list, and the first one from this year comes recommended by the lovely folks at Boing Boing – indexed. The author, Jessica Hagy describes it as:

…a little project that lets me make fun of some things and sense of others. I use it to think a little more relationally without resorting to doing actual math.

Well, whaddaya know? I find maths amusing! Heh, I’m more of a geek than I thought…

• indexed – using the venn diagram as an effective comedy tool.

[image:2577 size=small]

A familiar-looking mourner pays his respects to the dear departed. Apparently, air guitar is dead. According to these folks here it has ceased to be, gone to meet its maker, rung down the curtain and joined the rock band invisible.

However, medical experts in the field of rock science are hoping that 100ccs of Lynyrd Skynyrd, Aerosmith and Queen may bring it back to life.

We here at GuitarPr0n say – as long as there are solos, steering wheels and tennis racquets, there’ll be air guitar. Having said that, though, that Guitar Hero game does look pretty cool.

Presumably Shakespeare in Love only did so well at the 1999 Oscars because this was overlooked by the judges? Surely a statuette would have been deserved for this stellar performance?

• Miss America Bag Lady Pageant – Underground Comedy Movie

Magnificent! Can’t wait for the sequel.*

* Actually, I can – critics call it “Absolutely crap apart from that bit”.

Well class, here we are in a new year – oh the squee to come. Yay!! It fills your heart with joy doesn’t it? I do feel sorry for people who have no squeedom to revel in. You get these folk who roll their eyeballs at those of us who love to rejoice in massive fits of squee over our yummy music boys. Why? Please don’t rain on my squee parade. I am totally unashamed of finding beauty and squeeing over it all I want! But, don’t let my squeals fool you into thinking I know nothing about the music on a serious level, for that would be a big mistake. But now, on to the advanced squee lesson!

In this lesson we are going to look carefully at physical detail. We’re going to notice the delicious minutia that makes you sizzle! Once you find a guitar boy that completely rocks your world, you really need to take a nice careful look. You don’t want to miss something that may send you into Squeevana for extended periods! So how do you go about this? Well obviously pictures! Stills let you get right in there and take a long lingering look with no distraction of music or motion, both of which cause total breakdown in concentration for this exercise. How am I supposed to take a nice long fact finding gaze at Jimmy Page when he is dripping hot, slinking around in that dragon suit AND tearing up his guitar? It’s all I can do to stay conscious in moments like those, never mind look at details. Trust me, get some photos for this, at least for the first time you attempt it! Okay, I am going to pick one of the thousands of beautiful Pagey pictures I have for the lesson, and you go grab one of your favorite babe too. Ready?

Off we go!
Now, just have a good over all scan. What stands out? What catches your eye? When you find something have a really close careful look. I notice first Jimmy’s hair…omg…you could be lost forever in beautiful hair like that. A luscious dark wavy mass of heaven! Look how the light is shining on it and how one little curl is on his neck… Yum!! I read in a recent Q Mag issue that he thinks his hair was a fashion low point when it was this long. What?? WHAT??! Where did he get this totally erroneous idea? Please will someone give him this post? Hello, Mr. Page!!! Honey, listen up: There is NO SUCH THING as a low point with you, fashion or otherwise. It all rocks baby, ALL OF IT. ALL THE TIME. K?

Moving on, look at those lips. Such perfection – perfect shape, perfect color…mmmm! He gets my vote for Most Perfect Lips On a Man EVER. They are just screaming, “Kiss me!!!!” He has perfect skin too; although he has too many clothes on in this pic to get the full effect of how gorgeous it is. Still, even though he has all these clothes on – look how adorable they are. Awwww…that sweater vest and stripy shirt is so cute you could die! And here is where a still photo gives you a perfect glimpse of something you would miss in a moving image – look at that sweet little tummy button peeking out of the unbuttoned bit of shirt! Waaaahhhh!!!! Oh that just makes me crazy! It’s a Squeevana moment!! And how about those hands? Guitar babes generally have wonderful hands, and look at his!! Look at their beautiful shape and how his long sexy fingers curl around the guitar neck. Ohhhh…And speaking of shape, that body on Pagey Doll? Mmmm mmmm, tiny yummy heaven. He couldn’t be better if God allowed me to build my own dream man to spec!

Well I could go on and on and on, but you get the idea. Advanced squee is all about taking a careful look at the physical details of someone and seeing what sets off your fireworks, and for me everything about Jimmy sets off fireworks of epic proportions. What did you notice on your chosen babe? Isn’t it great? Don’t you feel happy? Come on then, share it! Fill me in on your delicious detail finding mission. You could also post a link to your pic so we can squee together!

Now here is a squee secret, the really great thing about this exercise is, you can take it with you to other areas of life. Open up your eyes and take a really good look around to appreciate the finer things of life in glorious detail! Those things that rock you to your core! Woooo!!!! Good squee leads to better life. Thanks Jimmy Jimmy – you certainly are one of the finer things in life to appreciate. I’ll keep doing the appreciating, and you keep supplying the fine. It’s a no-fail formula!

Dear Blog,

Wow – we’re back already! Hahaha…people will get sick of us! Anyway – to the point, hands are beautiful aren’t they? I always notice people’s hands. I think they say a lot about a person, just like their eyes or the ways they move. Like I was saying yesterday, Sam inspired me to draw, and so I did! I picked the hand of Jimmy Page because well, he has beautiful hands…

So in the spirit of branching out in 07, here is the quick little pencil sketch I did.

Okay, so I am not going to be getting offers to display at the Tate or anything, but it was fun to do. And it was a really good excuse to look at Jimmy for a while…I mean listen to this exchange:

Husband: What are you doing? (annoyed expecting an ‘I’m drooling over Pagey’ answer.)
Me: Art! (Shhhh!!! He doesn’t have to know it involved Pagey!)
Husband: Wow, great.

Ladies, hide your squee with art! Great idea!!!