Pre-Op Ramblings – Part Fourteen

Previously on Pre-Op Ramblings:

“Well, I say now… now would be silly. In a while would be over-optimistic. This side of Christmas would be a fluffy great lie. The estimated date for my surgery is now February 2014.”

Since my last update merry hell has been raised, the Kraken was put on high alert and stern letters flew to and fro. I wasn’t the only impatient inpatient, it seems. Around 40 of us had been led a merry dance of a hundred dates and action was taken on our behalf. I was assured that every effort would be made to get me scheduled in for October or November. This morning, a letter arrived…

“I am pleased to be able to inform you that the following arrangements have been made for your forthcoming operation/procedure.”

Yes, I have an official date. No, it’s not in February. Yes, it’s this side of Christmas. Yes, it’s next month. Tuesday, October 8 2013. According to my countdown app, that’s a mere 31 days away. This means that the legendary liver shrinking diet begins in 17 days.

Shit just got real, people. This is actually happening. Once I start on the LSD (a joke that never gets old) I shall post regular pictures of my meals and let you all know how I’m getting on. A new version of the diet has been released which includes a small but delicious dose of bacon. Yes. Bacon. In other parts of the country (in fact just over the border in Cornwall), the pre-op diet is nothing but yogurt and milk. No wonder Musgrove Park’s waiting list is so huge, why do two weeks of dairy when you can have bacon?

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