Author Archives: Sam

Pre-Op Ramblings – Part Eight

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Last week was enlightening. On Wednesday 15th I went along to a talk organised by the lovely folks at Musgrove Park Hospital, in which I learned more about the various types of weight loss surgery and its benefits, risks and fun little quirks (wind! so much WIND!).

The true star of the session was local BOSPA group leader Robin Joyce. Nobody can tell you about a treatment journey better than someone who’s been there and done it. And since his own surgery, Robin has become an active supporter of every other traveller he’s met and he always has the time of day for everybody. I came away from the talk completely at ease with the surgery to come, and with a strong desire to one day help other people the way Robin does. After my not-so-fun experience with a certain weight loss club, I’m not a fan of groups but I heartily recommend anyone considering weight loss surgery to join BOSPA.

On Friday 17th I experienced a whole other kind of enlightenment. I had a chance to find out what I was letting myself in for in the best way possible – I had an operation. This was an examination of my uterus under general anaesthetic to try to fathom out what’s been going on with my monthlies, and to put in an IUD Coil to hopefully control my hormones and stop my menstrual cycle shutting me down every couple of weeks.

Hullo.

Hullo.

Michael dropped me off at the RD&E at 7.30am and I was showed to my room. That’s right. I had a room. With my own loo. Not something I was expecting, but something I was incredibly grateful for as it meant I could quietly panic over what was about to happen without disturbing anyone. Not that I had any reason to panic. The first person to see me was the anaesthetist. I don’t know whether this is a common trait of all who specialise in knocking people out for a living but this man is just so lovely. His manner and voice is just so damn soothing that he made my time in theatre feel more like a morning in a spa. He could record a relaxation CD and make a fortune. Thanks to him and the team of excellent nurses and healthcare assistants the heebie-jeebies I had early in the morning didn’t last long and before I knew it I was back in my room eating the world’s best corned beef sandwich.

Coming out of anaesthetic felt familiar, to the point where my first coherent thought was “shit, how much did I drink?”. I wasn’t sick at any point but I did feel some pretty powerful waves of nausea. The real discomfort came the morning after as my body shook off the anaesthesia and all my nerves woke up. On Saturday I was in agony. Muscular pain from the neck to the waist. I’m assured that this is a perfectly normal reaction and would imagine that while I’m still a big old lass, I took some shifting about from bed to operating table. It’s now Monday and although I still ache a little, it’s no more than I will expect to feel when I finally get my arse back down the gym.

All of this leads to me feeling stronger than ever than weight loss surgery is the right thing for me to do. A new life awaits, and I can handle the discomfort I’ll have to experience to get there. This coming Wednesday I will be spending the afternoon at Musgrove Park Hospital meeting the dieticians, nurses and the surgical team in what’s known as the ‘one stop clinic’. I will also have my pre-operative assessment. This is the last step and assuming everybody agrees I’m ready, I will then go on the waiting list.

My treatment journey began at the end of 2011. It has felt like a long time getting to this point, but having spoken to other patients who have waited five years or more I feel incredibly blessed to be at this stage so quickly.

Pumping TV

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There’s a video doing the rounds of a prank at an American petrol station. The host of a news channel that broadcasts exclusively at the pumps talks to people as they’re filling up and in this particular case discovers a pair of sensational singers. It’s a joyful few moments and well worth a watch, but as an unenlightened Brit I am struggling to get past one simple detail…

They have dedicated TV networks for PETROL STATIONS? Why??? Does it really take that long to fill an American car that consumers require entertaining in the meantime? On the one hand, it’s a miracle of broadcast technology, I guess, that this is possible. But on the other hand, isn’t it just another method of cramming as much advertising as possible down the maw of the American consumer? (It would look that way, yes.)

If you find you’re getting through a double-bill of Game of Thrones during fill-up, you might want to consider a more fuel-efficient vehicle.

I find this unsettling. It’s just a bit too Black Mirror for my liking and just one step closer to that dark dystopian screen-obsessed future predicted by Charlie Brooker. And I say this, speaking as someone who gets the shakes if she can’t get her email regularly.

But still, that’s a kick-ass rendition of Livin’ On A Prayer, Mr Sims. Well done, Sir. Take note, America! You never know where you could get discovered, so remember to do your vocal exercises before you go get that gas, you crazy star-spangled lovelies.

Being Forty

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I turned 40 the other day. It came as quite a shock. I wasn’t expecting that much vomit.

Yes, in a sequence of events so crappy it could have been a verse in Alanis Morrisette’s “Ironic”, a day that was to contain magic, dancing and celebrations became a day of projectile vomiting, sweats and mumbled apologies.

I have no idea what happened. It could have been food poisoning. It could have been a 24-hour bug with really bad timing. At 7.00 on the morning of my birthday I was in the bathroom praying to the great porcelain god. As the day progressed, so did the illness and I ended up propped up on my mother, in the street, decorating the pavement like a drunk on a Friday night. Not a good look for someone who has been teetotal for nearly two years. And I threw up all over my nice new green dress. Don’t worry Barenaked Ladies fans, it’s not a real green dress (that’s cruel).

Being confined to bed and bucket on your birthday inspires much deep thinking. “Life is short” “Life is really short” “I’m going to die very soon.” “I WANT MY MUM!!” As the symptoms eased so did the melodrama, but I was left with a reminder that you never know what’s around the corner so that “living for now” business really is a good idea. It got me thinking about my future, my ambitions and creativity. The art materials gathering dust, the lack of blog posts and the general neglect of something that means a great deal to me.

So what does this mean? Well, it means as I ease myself into my forties I’m going to try to keep the creativity up; blog more, paint more, knit and play. I’m going to try to honour my ambitions and enjoy every minute of life, because rumour has it that now I’m 40, life has begun. Onwards!

Pre-Op Ramblings – Part Seven

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Before going in for gastric bypass, I will have to go on a very low calorie diet for a couple of weeks to shrink my liver and make sure that the surgeons can access all the parts they need to. Today I thought I’d give it a try for a day to see how it feels. This is not a diet that can be ‘cheated’. Its maximum allowance is 1000 calories a day and it needs to be low in fat, starch and sugar.

I’ll be going to an information session soon to find out more about the operation and the pre-operative diet, but for now I’m following the guidance supplied by Musgrove Park Hospital.

Breakfast

They suggest – Small bowl of plain cereal (25g or the size of a small multi pack box) OR 1 medium slice toast with scraping of margarine

I had – Small bowl of Honey Shreddies with skimmed milk and an apple. According to myfitnesspal that came to 251 calories. I see why the suggestion there was for plain cereal.

Lunch

They suggest – 1 slice bread or 2 crisp breads AND Salad (no dressings, unless just vinegar based without oil) AND Small portion of meat or fish (size of pack of playing cards or 100g) or cheese (size of a small matchbox or 30g), or 2 eggs, or 2 tablespoons of baked beans.

I had – 6 melba toasts (equal in calories to 2 crisp breads), salad (cucumber, tomato, pepper, no dressing), 28g cheese. According to myfitnesspal, that’s a total of 231 calories.

Snacks, etc

They suggest – Two portions of fruit (a portion is one apple, one pear, one small banana, an orange, or a handful of berries) AND One low fat, low sugar yoghurt or fromage frais per day

It might look daunting but there is some good news:

“Water, tea, coffee, low calorie squash, low calorie fizzy drinks allowed freely.”

FREE COFFEE. FREE TONIC.

It’s now 2.20pm. I’m waiting for my Tesco order to arrive so I can have a yogurt. Starting to feel a bit giddy. Normally by now I would have had at least 1,000 calories.

I’ve had 507 calories so far. I’m going to throw caution to the wind while I’m in a position to and indulge 92 calories and 16 grams of carbohydrates on a delicious Nakd Banana Bread bar. Nakd bars are delicious slabs of mushed up nuts, seeds, fruit and oats. That’s taken me up to 599, and I feel better for it. Slightly. Concentration’s stilllaabitontheiffyside. And I think the walls are melting.

The Tesco order arrived and I hoovered down a toffee mullerlight as soon as I could afterwards. That takes me to a total of 688 calories used.

Right now it’s very tempting to abandon this experiment and dive head-first into a big pile of food, but I shall plod on regardless.

Dinner

They suggest – 1 egg-sized potato or 2 tablespoons (30g) of pasta or rice AND Vegetables – any vegetables but try to have mostly the green varieties. Stick to no more than 1 tbsp of: sweetcorn, carrots, peas, beetroot as these contain more starch. Fill up on leafy green vegetables. Small portion of meat or fish or cheese or eggs or quorn or tofu dish (portions as lunch).

I had 1 – ****ing piffling egg-sized potato (I like my spuds, this is a hard one to do), a small portion of white fish cooked in foil with mixed peppers, roast tomatoes, steamed green beans, cauliflower and broccoli.

The Morning After

DAMN I’m hungry. Yesterday’s experiment came in at just over 940 calories. Bang on target for the Liver Reduction Diet but a good thousand at least under what I would normally have. It was hard, but I think if I get myself prepared and have lots of different options available, I should be able to stick to this for a fortnight.

Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s the small matter of breakfast to attend to.

Pre-Op Ramblings – Part Six

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My desk is, as usual, covered with letters from various NHS establishments. Two of the letters I keep looking at over and over because the reality of it all is taking some time to sink in. I have dates for the next two stages in the Weight Loss Surgery process – an information session in which I’ll find out more about the operation and what to expect afterwards and an afternoon of assessments with surgeons, anaesthetists and dieticians. The information session is on the third Wednesday of this month, and the assessment is the following Wednesday and between the two I have… an operation. And this all takes place the week after my 40th Birthday.

Last week I had my pre-op for the other operation. The surgeon was confident all will go well but the final decision on whether to put me under general anaesthetic will happen when I’m on the ward that morning. If all goes according to plan it should stop my life becoming an early Peter Jackson film every couple of weeks. So in the meantime I’m doing my best to keep active and eat well. It’s all happening, but I’m ready. Thanks to my regular visits to Boxfit I’m developing a mean right hook.

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