Bringing the Bourdain – for the lucky ducks getting INtoxicated with Zamir.

The following is a little piece I wrote for the Facebook page of an event celebrating the last ever episode of Travel Channel’s Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations:

So you’re going to the No Reservations party at Hotel at The Lafayette. You lucky duck.

And you’ve registered for the Anthony Bourdain Lookalike Contest? You incredibly attractive lucky duck!

Allow me, a devoted NoRes fangirl with many hundreds of viewing hours under her belt, to impart to you a little advice to give you that winning edge.

Tall is a state of mind.

You might think your chances of success are slim if you would struggle to reach six foot four standing on a chair. It’s all in the attitude, baby. If you believe you tower over your comrades, then you will tower over your comrades.

Unleashing the Silver Fox

One of Bourdain’s most beguiling features is his delightful silver hair. If you’re not blessed with silver fox locks yourself, do not panic. Thanks to the cosplay boom there are wigs a’plenty available. For the Bourdain look, pick one with quite a bit of curl and trim it back. Or, get a grey Afro, some flares and go as Disco Bourdain!

The Clothes Maketh The Man

So let’s run through your wardrobe options. Got a baggy Ramones t-shirt? That’s an essential for Early Bourdain. For a more up to date look, a dress shirt, or t-shirt and blazer combo would work. But for me, you can’t go wrong with the classic black tee and leather jacket. Don’t forget the sunglasses.

Think Ink!

Don’t forget Tony’s impressive array of tattoos. From the ouroboros and skull on his shoulders to the snake and sun tats on his forearms.

It’s all in the -isms.

If you really want to convey all that is Mr Anthony Bourdain, then it’s all in the wit. Well-scattered f-bombs, the odd excitable “Oh yeah!”, the frequent proclamation that what you are experiencing is “a beautiful thing” and of course, regular reminders to your fellow guests that the evening at the Lafayette “does not suck”. And as the evening comes to an end, thoughtfully ask yourself “what have we learned today?”.

With these Top Tony Tips you should be on to a winner. Have a great time, you lucky, handsome, silver-haired, f-bombing duck.

I hope this advice helps someone take the star prize, or at least a couple of phone numbers. I’d hate to think I’d spent all those hours staring at Anthony Bourdain for nothing. 😉

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